F*ck

While I was kind of dreading my last cycle this week, I was also looking forward to the end of it but it's not to be. Apparently my blood count is too low and the treatment needs to be deferred by one week. That means I'm going to feel like shit during our getaway weekend that we had planned as a celebration to the treatment's end. The nurse told me I had to ring the front desk and make an appt for next week, well I rang the front desk but the person couldn't give me an appt today because they are apparently short of staff next week and it needs to be approved by the head honcho first etc...so I need to ring up tomorrow in the morning....I'm not sure where I will be because well I'd planned with the HR dpt at my work to take the whole week off and I went to the doc today and got myself a medical certificate for the week, and knowing my work they'll probably refuse for me to return to work without having a certificate to say that I can, meaning I'm going to have to take another whole day off just so that I can get this certificate and I'm at the stage where I hardly have any sick leave left and can't really afford to be off for administrative purposes....apart from that my eyes are burning again...so yeah it's just f*cking great....
It really pisses me off, I had psyched myself for this week and now I've got to stress over reorganising everything.

A new shade of grey

I was hoping to have some exciting news to tell but it's feels more and more like 'Groundhog day'

In brief the tumours appear stable..( meaning either the chemo has put a stop to the disease's progression or the tumours were stable long before the chemo was administered or the same results could have been achieved by simply giving me a sugar pill...)

The good news are that some of the small tumours previously caught by the CT Scan have now disappeared, the bad news are that they are a number of small tumours previously undetected that are now being picked up by the CT Scan.

Someone in the oncology department had the not so genius idea that perhaps I ought to have surgery now....someone in the surgery unit said that it was out of the question due to the fact that I have too many tumours spread out and that it would be a major surgery with perhaps no major benefits at this stage.

Anyway I'm still roughly at square one...same same ....I'll just be happy when I finish my 6th Cycle ( I'm on my 5th) , to be in charge of my own body, to start getting fit again, not to have to go to hospital every Saturday for my PICC dressing, to gain a little bit of freedom.

When I look at photos of now and then, It makes me feel like I've aged a lot in a very short time. I'm the 'uncle fester' of chemotherapy.


Posing with Meeka my sister in law's dog....I'm on the right, the one without the hair in case you were wondering....