Photophobia

It's been tough. Cycle 3 and my return to work didn't really work out as easy as planned. As my blood platelets went down mid week post chemo, my eyes started to burn constently, I started suffering from photophobia so couldn't stay in front of any computer for very long. After two attempts at returning to work I couldn't take it any longer so I was forced to spend whatever time was left before the start of my next cycle at home. I've just finished cycle 4 and I'm really over all those side effects, I'm sick of having to ingest so many tablets at different times, the constant feeling of nausea or feeling totally out of it thanks to some potent drug. I also wonder what if anything are the effects of this treatment is having on my cancer, there is after all nothing proven....and one has to wonder if instead of chemo I might as well been sucking on a lollypop with the same results without the side effects.
Most of the time you live like nothing has changed but every now and again you have to pinch yourself to remind yourself that you have cancer and live on borrowed time. it just gets frustrating, for the moment I'm living for the sake of living, I wish I had a life estimate so that at least I could plan for the future....right now though I'm feeling nauseated...same old same old...