Weird science

Well I hear you say ..what happened ?! ....the short answer is I don't know any more today than I did yesterday.

I kind of imagined that it would happen just like in the movies when the oncologist tells you roughly how long you've got to go....instead I was given a lot of positivity about nothing.
First of all the guy that did the last scan didn't bother to compare them with the original scans so that was not really helpful.

My oncologist however did a rough comparison and told us that so far it looked stable. Now the size of the liver met was 12.5 cm originally and it's now 14cm but it is acceptable because apparently there is no way to measure any tumor precisely therefore you have to give every measurement a 1 to 2 cm leeway either way. On top of that they were hinting that some of the other tumors went from 2.5cm to 1cm, some just didn't show up and some appeared to be showing in new places but as they were really small it may very well be not a tumor in the first place. The oncologist also explained that it is still early. However he did say that if it's still the same at my next scan, they will definitively think about stopping the chemo.

So to make a long story short, it's roughly the same as before, I'm looking at another couple cycle of chemo before my next scan. If there is no change then, I will probably stop having it....because there is no way of knowing for sure whether the treatment is not doing me more harm than good.

I think I'm a bit disappointed at this stage, I was really hoping to know more about my cancer by now. The oncologist said that I would need to have a CT scan every three months so that we can better monitor it. Obviously when it's like that, you can't help wondering whether the chemo treatment is really doing anything, what' s to say that the results wouldn't have been the same if I had done nothing ....but I won't dwell on that.

Anyhow I'm not depressed nor am I jumping up and down with joy, for the moment it appears to be stable and that's good enough for me. The way I look at it is that I'm going to be having a whole lot of scans done and I can't let them control me, so I'm just going to enjoy the time that I have and deal with any new issue when it arises.